Inspiration can be found everywhere. Twas the Night before Fashion Week is a parody inspired by my love of Project Runway.
Twas the Night before Fashion Week
Twas the night before Fashion Week, when all through New York
Not a calorie was in sight, not even a fork.
The fashions were hung by the runway with care,
In hopes that Heidi Klum soon would be there.
The designers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of a hundred grand danced in their heads.
Nina Garcia in her dress, and Zac Posen in his suit,
Had just settled in their seats for their hoity-toity hoot.
When out on the runway there arose such a clatter,
Tim Gunn sprang from behind the scene to see what’s the matter.
Away to the catwalk he flew like a flash,
He implored the designer to stitch up the sash.
The artificial light on the show room floor
Gave illusions of grandeur to the musical score.
When, what to Tim’s watering eyes should appear,
But a mini fringe dress, that barely covered the models rear.
With a little designer, so lively and quick,
Tim knew in a moment he must be the fan pick.
Poising and prancing from the workroom they came,
Make it work, Tim shouted, and called them by name!
“Now Kini! now, Fäde! now, Amanda and Korina!
On, Char! On, Sean! On, Emily and Nina!
To the cream of the crop! To the winner of all!
Now stride up! Stomp up! The models, oh so tall!”
Take your work seriously, don’t let an opportunity fly,
When met with an obstacle, rise to the sky.
Success of each challenge begins and ends at Mood,
Swatch is so cute, I wonder does she have her own brood..
Woe to the model who wears a dress that is itchy.
And to the bewildered designer who wonders why his girl is so bitchy.
As the garment reached the end of the runway, and its wearer spun around,
The audience rose to its feet and a winner was crowned..
Tim was dressed in an Iran Man suit, from his head to his toes,
In a fight against fashion crime, he hoped wouldn’t come to blows..
A bundle of fabric he had flung on his back,
As he exclaimed, “everyone looks thinner in black.”
Sew from unconventional materials. The contestants cry.
In each challenge someone wins and someone waves goodbye.
The craftsmanship was lacking. The designer couldn’t bear to go.
If only she hadn’t been caught napping, she had so much more to show.
The end of the thread he bit off with his teeth,
And down the runway walked a perfect sheath.
Inspired by Rome, Sean created a cohesive collection,
As a mentor, Tim dished out direction delivered with affection.
Tim sprang to the catwalk, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew with the speed of a missile..
But I heard Heidi exclaim, ‘thanks for the champagne,
“Kiss kiss to all, and auf weidersehen!”